I'm kind of having a bad day today with my health. I've had a pretty good run recently, a few days in a row where I had no collapses, or only collapsed late in the evening after a full day of doing stuff. After a run like this, it's easy to trick yourself into thinking you're healthier than you really are. Then it all sort of hits you again.
Last night, I had a bad fall while cooking dinner. I hit the ground hard and hurt my shoulder. Then this morning, it's not a good day.
I haven't had a collapse yet today, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did. What I'm dealing with this morning, is some of my other symptoms I get with my Postural Orthistatic Tachycardia Syndrome.
I woke up feeling tired, and as the day has progressed, I'm getting more and more exhausted. It's not just a normal tired, it's kind of hard to explain. It just feels like every muscle in your body is tired, you can hardly keep your head up and your eyes open. You feel completely wiped out, and if you try and do anything, even small things like walking to the front door to get the post, you feel exhausted.
On top of this, I've been getting chest pain all morning, the kind that doesn't go away with my inhaler. I've had a bad headache that's increasingly getting worse, and my shoulder still hurts from the fall yesterday.
I think with my condition, it's easy on good days, to want to push yourself to do more because you know that you may not be able to do anything the next day. This comes at a price though, because maybe doing more yesterday, has resulted in me feeling so much worse today.
All I can say, is that today I am truly feeling the limitations of my illness. There's so much that I'd like to get done, but I can't get up and do anything, and even sitting down and writing is hard. I've been trying to write the novel I'm working on, but I can't concentrate because I'm just so tired.
I'm hoping that I'll feel more energetic tomorrow. For now, I think I need to go back to bed.
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