Feeling Like a Failure

Is it a healthy attitude, to label yourself a failure? Probably not, and yet that's what I'm finding myself doing. Not only have I not posted for ages, but the reason I haven't posted, is my biggest failure. You've probably guessed what it is, my weight.

Not that long ago, just a few short months to be exact, I had just got back into the eight stones, for the first time since I was seventeen. I was so thrilled, and then it all went wrong.

For reasons I still don't understand, I not only stopped following the whole foods plan which I know I feel better on, but I also stopped following any diet, and overeating again. I've tried over and over these past few weeks to get back on track, and I'll do it for a day or two, and then slip up and start eating all the wrong foods in very large quantities.

As far as tracking goes? I've fallen into habits of tricking myself. I reach the point where I've logged enough food to reach or slightly go over my calorie allowance, and then I'll stop logging food and yet I don't stop eating it.

From pastries to sugary drinks, pizza to copious amounts of chocolate. I've been grabbing at all of it, and I don't know why. Yes, it tastes good, but so does the healthy food. Yes, it's convenient, especially when I'm having poor health days, and can't cook anything. However, I could batch cook in advance on good days, so that the healthy food is just as quick and easy to get someone to grab for me.

My weight keeps creeping up, then I'll get upset, lose a pound or two of it, and then put it back on again. It's gotten to the point where I'm back up at 9st 6lbs. I've been yo-yoing between this weight and a pound heavier for weeks.

Exercise has basically disappeared from my daily life. I always have a new excuse, and sometimes it's a good one, like I'm really unwell (I've been having a lot of bad days lately). Sometimes, it's awful excuses, such as, I'm binge watching Lie to Me on Netflix, and I don't want to turn it off to do a workout. Told you it was an awful excuse.

I keep trying to motivate myself. I browse weight loss tips, quotes etc on pinterest. I tell myself I'll follow a certain challenge. I make charts for my wall. I set myself goals of when to reach goal weight. Then I ignore all of it and reach for a large bar of chocolate.

Today, I ate 90% wholefoods, only slipping up with two items. I stayed within my calories and I felt so proud of myself. It reminded me that it isn't all that hard to stick to a diet plan. I just need to get my determination back, because I am so close to goal (though not as close as I was, which is upsetting).

All in all, recently I've been feeling like a failure. I've lost so much, so why can't I get this last bit off? Why can't I follow the plan now?

My hope going forward, is that I can slowly get back into whole foods, and try my best to stay within my calories everyday. As well as get more exercise. I also hope to write more here, and not shy away whenever my weight starts creeping up.

So, the same old refrain from me. I'm doing bad. I hope to do better.

Maybe this time I'll mean it.

Call me Yo-Yo

Hi all,

I cannot believe it has taken me so long to update, during November, if I was writing, I was doing to for NaNoWriMo so my blogging kind of got lost. Sorry!

I'd love to come on here and say that in the four weeks since I last posted, I've managed to reach my weight goal, which was only 7lbs away. This isn't the case, because I've hit a rough patch of yo-yo dieting that's driving me crazy.

My health has been rough again, I came down with another virus, so that is definitely affecting my ability to workout, but my eating has been crazy bad recently too.

Ever since getting into the 8st's, I've been yo-yoing between 8st12 and 8st13, with my last weigh in putting me at the higher number again. I need to step it up and get myself motivated again, because I am so close to reaching my goal, but I just keep on wasting time bouncing between a pound gain and a pound loss.

I've been trying to do as much exercise as I can, but being unwell has really made this harder, so I'm barely doing anything. The worst thing, though, is that I've gone off the rails with my eating.

I'm talking, going over my calories most days. Eating chocolate cake, ice cream, pies, chips, and basically nothing that could be considered a wholefood, which is what I'm trying to stick too!

There's one month left of the year, and I need to lose 2lbs a week in order to reach my goal by the end of 2015. I'm not all that confident (hence my more realistic goal of getting there by mid Feb when I go on holiday with my family), however, I am going to try really hard to get back into exercising and eating right.

I haven't come this far, to give up now that I'm so close. I just need to remind myself that more often.

I'm going to try and be much better at keeping this site updated. I've been bad recently, and I want that to stop. So I'm throwing that into my goals for December list.

Please comment below if you want to share your weight loss/fitness journey, and share this post if you like it.

Quick Little Update

Hi all,

It has been a while since I wrote anything on here, and I am so sorry for that. I honestly don't have much of an excuse, I just haven't been blogging even though I have a bunch of posts to do, not just here but on all of my sites.

Anyway, I wanted to post a quick update, because things have moved along since my last post. I was sort of in a bad place when I last wrote. I was feeling unwell with my health condition, and it wound up with me having a virus for almost two weeks, which made my POTS symptoms so much worse.

I'm all over that now, though, and I'm back to having a good mix of good and bad days with my health. I am still collapsing a lot, but some days, like today, I make it through the whole day without a collapse. Yay.

I've been stepping up the exercise more. Specifically, I've been doing a lot of blogilates on YouTube. I love these videos because they provide great toning, they're really challenging, and I can pick the areas to target. They're also great, because most of the exercises are done on a mat, and it's always best for my health when I can workout in a sitting or lying position.

I've also been doing cardio with my treadmill whenever I'm up to it, and using the bike machine too.

I'm getting a lot stronger, which I love. Exercises I couldn't even do one of a few months ago (lower leg lifts, cheerleader L's, push ups, etc...) I can now manage to get through the whole section of them in the videos. 

Last week, I lost 4lbs, which was incredible. I was aiming for 3, because that was what I needed to lose to get into the 8st's, and getting 4 was just so unexpected and exciting. So I'm currently sitting at 8st12lbs, just 7lbs left to go to hit goal, and my aim is to reach that by the end of November.

As far as November is concerned. I'm going to be keeping up with the pilates, by following the Blogilates workout calendar for the month (arm days are tough!), and I'm also going to keep up with the cardio, and to the Journey to Splits Challenge by Blogilates, which gives you stretches to do each day, to work your way towards being able to do the splits at the end of the challenge. I'm pretty excited to increase my flexibility.

So, that's where I'm at right now. In a pretty good place, even if my diet could be better. I'm sticking to calories, but not always with the best kinds of foods. My health, is as always up and down and unpredictable, but it's good to be back to just dealing with POTS, and not having a virus on top of it.

Hopefully I'll have another positive update for you after my weigh in on Saturday. Until then, I hope whatever fitness goals you have, are going well. I'd love to hear about your weight loss/fitness journeys, so please leave a comment, and don't forget to subscribe to my site for updates on my journey, and if you like what you're reading, please share. 

Shakes, Headaches, and Too Much Pie!

Hi all,

I'm still on my mostly liquid diet at the moment. I have a dentist appointment of the 24th, and I'm hoping soon after that, I'll be back onto solids.

As of right now, I can manage shakes, soups and soft foods. Which is where I've hit into a problem. One of the foods, soft enough for me to handle, is pie, and if you've read previous posts of mine, you'll know that pie is one of my biggest weaknesses. I can't say no.

I love pastry, and fruit pies are one of my favorite things to eat. However, following the diet plan I'm meant to be following, I'm not supposed to eat pie. So it's bad enough that I'm eating it, worse still that I'm eating so much of it. I have a slice of pie pretty much every day, some days more than one slice.

So far, last weigh in I lost another pound, leaving just ten to go. However, since then, I've spent the weekend going way over my calories, and yesterday eating an alarming three slices of pie! This is the major issue I need to deal with.

As far as other food goes. Mostly I've been having Tesco UltraSlim meal replacement shakes, which are tasty and actually do keep me feeling full. So that's a positive. I've been having these mostly for my breakfast and lunch, and then having a soup, mashed potato or some other soft food for my dinner.

Another negative, is that I've been getting a lot of really bad headaches recently. I don't know if this is because my diet is just a little weird at the moment, or because I'm coming down with something, but my usual everyday headaches, have been getting more painful, and while on my proper diet I had some days without headaches, now I'm not getting those days.

So a few ups and downs recently. I need to get my head more focussed, get rid of the pie, and lose those last ten pounds.

Smoothies and an Update

Hi all,

So it's been a while since I wrote something on here, and it's not because I've given up on the diet. I just had no internet for a little over two weeks! It's back up and running now, so I thought I'd do a quick update.

I'm currently sitting at 9st10lbs, and I'm really excited to get my weight into the double digits, hopefully this week.

I'm trying something new for July. My sister decided to do a 30 day smoothie challenge, drinking one smoothie a day, along with regular healthy meals. She asked me if I wanted to join in, and so that's what I'm doing.

Yesterday I had a grape, apple and spinach smoothie which was delicious. Today I opted for a mango and kale one, which again was really good. 

I'm hoping this will be a good way to get more fruit and vegetables in my diet, and make me stop reaching for sweet treats like chocolate and cakes.

It's no secret that I have a very big sweet tooth, and I need to quit this habit and swap it for healthier snacks.

I need to exercise more, though, because this week I've barely done anything.

So, here's hoping that this last 19lbs will go soon.

Positive Progress: Finally!

Hi all,

As you know from my previous posts, I've kind of been losing motivation, slipping with my weight loss, and generally not feeling great. So, as of my last post, I decided I needed to refocus. I had just gained two pounds, and I wasn't happy with that at all. So I promised I would cut the junk food, stop going over calories, and be better in general.

I didn't actually manage to kick all the bad habits. Turns out, apple pie is hard to say no to. However, I was more concious of what I was eating, and went over calories maybe once. I did step up the exercise, though not as much as I could have. 

My goal was simple, lose the two pounds I'd put on. So I was thrilled, when after a semi-good week of diet and exercise, I got on the scale and I'd lost three pounds. It was truly a great feeling, that not only had I undone the bad week, but also forged ahead with my weight loss.

So, this helped my motivation a tonne, and I'm back to eating healthier foods, staying within my calorie allowance, and exercising.

One thing which has really been helping, is that my mum and I joined together and bought a treadmill for our living room. It's so great having that and the exercise bike to use, along with our small supply of weights, resistance bands and a few other bits and pieces.

I don't get to use it as much as I would like, because of my health restrictions, but on my good days, I can normally get in a good thirty minutes, So that's helping with my cardio.

I'm hoping to see about two pounds loss next week, but with just twenty one pounds left to go, I'll be happy with any loss I can get.

Kicking the Habit...I Mean It This Time

Hi guys,
As you may remember from my last post, I've not been doing fantastically recently. However I have some good news, I managed to kick the habit of eating KFC and Belgium Buns all the time. Bad news, I've swapped it for McDonald's and Apple Pie.
Oi! I don't know what has happened to my motivation, but today marks the start of a new week, and I fully intend to kick the bad habits.
No more eating over my calories. Restrict the amount of junk I eat. Maybe even try to eliminate it.
I want to get back into working out, because I've been sick for the past two weeks, but I finally feel healthy enough to tackle a workout.
Today, the sun is shining. I'm feeling motivated, and I want to get back on track with my weight loss. Today is the day to do it. It's salads, water and workouts this week.

Losing Motivation

Hi guys,

It's not been going well recently. This past week I lost a pound, but for the two weeks prior to that, I stayed the same. It's not awful, I'm at least not gaining the weight back, but I've completely lost focus.

While some family were visiting, I broke my detox and ate cake. Not a huge deal. I planned on getting right back into the diet, and sticking to it strictly for a while longer. That didn't work.

For a few weeks now, I've not only been off of detox, but I've also lost complete focus with my diet. I've been going over calories a lot. I've been eating the wrong kinds of food, including KFC Burrito's, Belgium Buns, and Chocolate. I've been sick, so I haven't been able to exercise at all. 

Honestly, I'm shocked that I haven't gained weight recently.

From today, I'm hoping to refocus and get myself back on track. I have a goal in place, that by the end of June, I'd like to be in the 8 stones again, which means losing 1 stone between now and then. 

I need to work out a way to kick the habit of overeating again, and to do that I need to stop going after the high calorie treats.

How do you deal with lack of focus? 

Welcome to A Skinny Fit

Hi all,

Welcome to my brand new health and fitness blog, A Skinny Fit.

I decided to create this blog, because over on one of my other blogs Messy Little Moments, I'd started to write about my weight loss and fitness journey quite a lot. I really love writing about fitness, and I've been doing a lot of dieting, exercise and fitness stuff recently, and I'd like to share things with people. I didn't, however, want Messy Little Moments, to turn into a purely fitness blog, because that isn't what I started it for. So the natural next step, was for me to create a dedicated fitness blog. Hence, A Skinny Fit.

Here I'll be talking about my weight loss journey. Sharing my progress and goals. Writing about different exercise programs I try. Diets I follow. Share inspirational fitness things I come across and some healthy food ideas as well.

So, a little about me.

My name is Hannah. I'm 23 years old, and I'm a self published author. You can find out all about my general interests over at Messy Little Moments and all about my love of books and writing over at The Book Tower.

Back in 2008 I was a UK size 6-8. I was happy with my weight, but that wasn't going to last. In late 2008 I was diagnosed with P.O.T.S, an illness that severely limited the amount of activity I could do. For a long time I was struggling with my health, and I still don't have it under control, though it has improved over the years. Being at home, unable to do very much without fainting, made the weight start piling on. 

I was eating too much, not moving enough and before I knew it, my waistline was creeping up and it got to the point where I was weighing over 9st. I wasn't happy. So I decided to join Weight Watchers in 2009. I went with my mum, and for a while I was doing well. I never got down to goal, but I did lose some. Then I decided to leave Weight Watchers, and for a long time I yo-yo dieted but bad habits soon crept in.

By September 2014, I was weighing in at 13st 3lbs. I was wearing a size 16 and I was really unhappy with my weight and the way I looked in general.

So, I decided to start on a 30 days of fitness challenge. In those 30 days, I lost 11.5lbs. My mum and younger sister had joined weight watchers a couple of weeks after I started my fitness challenge, so I decided to join with them. I consistently lost weight with Weight Watchers, but in January this year, despite sticking to plan, my weight started staying the same, and then going up a bit. I needed a change, so I left Weight Watchers, and started trying it at home. 

In total so far, I've lost 40lbs, I have 28lbs left to go and I want to share my journey.

Current Weight

10st 5lbs

Goal Weight

8st 5lbs

Lost So Far

40lbs